Sometimes attitude IS everything.

Jesus taught that our attitudes toward people can lead us toward either a bitter life or a better life. Jesus didn’t want any of us to be "benched" by bitterness so he offered us a way to work through our emotional reactions to people who hurt or offend us.

Whenever Jesus talked about loving people, his listeners were always confronted with some "big league" personal challenges. On example is when Jesus says, "If you love only those who love you, what reward is there in that?" Jesus sets the "love" bar unbelievably high, when he says, "Try this, love your enemies. Be different, show love to the people who attack or harm you." That kind of love is way beyond the usual for most of us mere mortals.

Jesus also taught about the challenges related to loving those were close to. He said that his followers should love each other enough to go to each other and work things out, EVERY time someone gets hurt or is offended by someone else.

Peter, the ever outspoken disciple, hears this and comes to Jesus for some clarification. He wants Jesus to tell him how much mercy and grace God wants him to show, especially to those people (you know the type) who are repeat offenders, people who just can’t seem to stop themselves from hurting us or honking us off.

Peter asks Jesus, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" "No" Jesus replies, "Seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21)

Knowing three was the accepted measure of mercy for his day, Peter also knew Jesus’ standard of love always ended up higher than the norm. So, to be safe, Peter doubles the standard of three, adds one more for good measure asks, "Jesus, if I’m seven times generous with my forgiveness, will that make God happy?"

I can imagine a smile breaking out on Jesus’ face as he ups Peter’s forgiveness bid, "Multiply your seven by 70, Peter, and you’re on your way to understanding how far God wants your forgiveness to go."

He wasn’t really asking Peter (or us) "to do the math." He wasn’t saying, "490 is God’s official forgiveness limit. By suggesting a huge number like 490, a count to big to track, Jesus was saying, from God’s perspective, forgiveness has no limits.

Does the idea of unlimited forgiveness bother you? Jesus wanted it to. He wanted his words to get a reaction from us, to make us think and ask hard questions. That’s the beauty Jesus’ teaching; it rocks us out of our comfort zones and confronts us with how impossible or unreachable it seems for this kind of love and mercy to flow out of us. Matthew 18:23-35 is what I like to call Jesus’ parable of the pay back:

The king, of course, represents God. He’s the one who forgives each of us a debt we could never repay. Think about it: When God’s son, Jesus, died on a cross, he took on himself the punishment we deserved for every sin we would ever commit over our entire lifetime. Jesus’ perfect life was exchanged for our imperfect ones. The forgiveness and total acceptance with God that Jesus offers us through his punishment and death gives us free access to God’s heaven. That’s something the Scriptures tell us, we could never earn in a lifetime. How do we repay a debt like that?

Who, then, is the ungrateful servant? Anyone who has had all their sin forgiven, but refuses to forgive the one or two or 490 sins that someone else has committed against them.

The truth of this story hits us right where we live. Jesus primary purpose in telling this parable wasn’t to produce guilt in us, but to show us the way to move ourselves toward a greater understanding and ability to forgive. I think we can gain a greater understanding of these things as we examine three morals from this story:

1. Whoever focuses on God, our forgiver, will see endless reasons to forgive others.

Jesus said it in the most basic prayer he laid out for us, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." (Matthew 6:12)

When I forgive someone I’m giving them what God has given me, release from what I owe. God calls us to do for others what he has done for us.

2. Whoever focuses on the offense and the offender will never see a reason to forgive. Experience has taught us all well enough on that one, hasn’t it?

3. Whoever fails to forgive will find himself/herself tortured and imprisoned by their own bitterness.

The king was merciful to a fault, debt cancelled, but his servant doesn’t get it, he didn’t learn a thing from the king’s gracious gift. So the king gives him what he deserved in the first place, a "stay till you pay" prison sentence. In a scary warning, Jesus let’s us know that If we are unable to extend mercy and forgive those who’ve sinned against us, God will NEVER open the door of the prison our bitterness may create. God is NOT obligated to free us from the torture our unwillingness to forgive may bring. Jesus said it plainly; God cannot forgive those who refuse to forgive others. Bottom line on the prison of bitterness: God can give us the keys to unlocking forgiveness in our lives, but we are the ones who have to use them.

We all know people who’ve lost a large portion of their lifetime benched by inability to get beyond something someone else has done to them. Too many people cross a fine line in their anger or bitterness toward somebody or something that moves them from "you owe me" to "you own me."