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Some time while growing up most of us experienced a fear of the dark. What makes the dark so scary? The dark is scary because we can’t see what’s there, so our imaginations fill the dark with all kinds of threatening things.

Most of us beyond the age of 10 would claim we’ve conquered our fear of the dark, but I’m not convinced that’s true. Because some of the greatest fears we adults face occur when we get thrown into the zone of the unknown, a dark place where we have no clear picture, no light or certainty about what’s ahead. We may be all grown up, but the darkness we encounter in the unknown zone can make us just as scared, fearful, and frozen in place as our fears did when we were kids.

Look out over the horizon of your life. Are there any unknowns or uncertainties in your personal life? Is there any relationship or situation that is a big unknown for you today that makes you feel apprehensive?

As I thought about what I might say about our fear of the unknown, the truth of the statement, "faith is the best antidote for our fears" immediately came to mind. But this cure isn’t quite as simple as that statement makes it sound. There’s more developing a faith that can conquer fear that we need to know.

Consider this:

One of the most frustrating girls I ever dated was Sara, my friend Paul’s sister. Whenever I would tell Sara how much I liked her or wanted to be with her, she would always look at me and say, "Promises, promises." Eventually, I figured out that "promises, promises" meant, "I don’t want words, buddy, I want action." She wanted me to cut to the chase and propose marriage. Nothing less would satisfy her.

I was not ready to jump that far that fast, so she got no more promises from me; no proposal, either.

I think some of us hear talk about God’s love for us or our need to trust God and we have a Sara-type reaction, "Promises, promises, God. Nice words, but when are you going to commit and do something significant for me?" We want to fast track to the benefits of being connected with God without fully considering the time and trust-building that developing a deep relationship with God demands. It’s just not possible to just jump into instant intimacy anyone, and that includes God. We build our trust in God over time through getting to know him and stacking up life experiences with him.

There are four quotes from the Bible that I use as foundation blocks in building my relationship with God. The first is the most significant because it enfolds all the others, its Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.

Since the day I made Jesus my forgiver and life’s leader, more than 30 years ago, I have made the words of this verse one of my life’s main objectives. To this day, I’m still pursuing living the life of total trust in God. I say "still seeking" because I’ve found trusting God with all my heart isn’t easy. It is an ongoing challenge and takes a deliberate act of my will to pull off.

As you face the unknowns of your life and the uncertainties of your future, my desire would be that you would adopt trusting God with all your heart as a goal for your life. I know trust takes time and I know we don’t trust things we don’t know, so if you have any interest in replacing your fears about your future with faith, here are my suggestions:

• Do whatever it takes to get to know God - Get a Bible and read it. Start in the Proverbs if you don’t know where to begin and learn about God and all the wisdom he wants to give you. Get in a study group, read a book that explains things like God and how to get to know him. Second suggestion:

• Devote yourself to building trust with God. Decide that trusting God is a life skill you’re going to develop. Then do this, suggestion 3:

• Try trusting God one step at a time. Trust IS built through knowing someone IS trustworthy so begin with just one thing, one day or one challenge at a time. No one goes from being self-sufficient to God-dependent all at once; it’s a transformation over time, so take it one step at a time. Most of our significant emotional, relational and spiritual changes and growth usually come about a baby step at a time, rather than through giant steps or some kind of instant change. Unless and until you get to know God and begin trusting him a little bit or step at a time, you will probably never get to trusting him with the big, really scary stuff of your life.

This is a good place to share with you another of the Bible’s verses that I have tried to build my life on, Hebrews 11:6 says, Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

Did you catch the two basic faith steps there? First, I believe God is. I need to believe God is REAL. And then I need to believe that God is ACTIVE, that he will reward me for making him my main guide for life. When this verse talks about God being our rewarder, don’t think in terms of God handing out treats like we might give to our pets for being good. The main reward God gives to those who seek him is his presence with us along with his help and guidance.

When God does this for you, when God guides you through what looked impossible or impassable, trust me, the next time you are faced with a challenge, it will be easier to trust him. That’s how this works.

The third verse I’ve built my life on is Romans 8:28. It says, And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

God has a plan for all the people who love him and are seeking to live out his purpose for their lives. That plan is to use everything they encounter first, to make them what he wants then to be and then to get them where he wants them to go, so they will do the things he wants them to do.

Know this, God working "for our good," doesn’t necessarily mean the work he’ll do will be quick or easy. It does mean that whatever we are facing, God can use it to accomplish what he wants for our lives. It may be he wants us to learn to trust him more and trust in ourselves or our stuff less. It may mean he wants us to learn to pray, or ask for help, or to become more humble and less proud. We always need to remember that God’s ultimate goal is not to fix our problems or just eliminate our fears but to help us become more like Jesus and to learn follow his lead more and more.

God can lead us, even in spite of our fears and doubts and questions to the place he wants us to be and toward becoming the kind of people he wants us to be, IF we will just trust and follow. I have to go back to Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

If we will trust God and back off from trying to make things happen, he will "direct our paths," showing us how to get through whatever situation is in front of us. But here’s where things get messed up. Every time we turn to and depend on our understanding of how things should be, we put ourselves in God’s place, put our perspectives above his, and leave no room for him to do his work of guiding us. When we are following plans we have designed ourselves, it’s hard to see and find the path God wants us to take.

When we lean or depend on our own understanding, it’s usually one of two forces at work, our fear or our pride. Our pride says nothing good will happen unless I make it happen, fear tells us something bad will happen unless we do something to prevent it. In either case we attempt to control the situation, but our desire to take control cuts God right out of the loop. Two tough questions for our ‘to do’s’ here:

• Do I try and control my destiny? Is working it out on my own my default mode?
• Am I afraid to let go or just afraid? Is there pride or fear behind any need to control things that I might have?

There is a better way to live than trying to be the god of our own little universe, give God the lead he deserves in our lives. Pray and ask him to guide you. Read the Bible and seek to live by its directions. Do these things and God will be able to lead you. You’ll learn that God’s ways are best and following his lead leads you to a better place and a better life. One last suggestion for facing the fear of the unknown:

What I need to know to walk by faith and trust God is that will God back me up, that he will be there when and if I encounter something bigger than myself. Our last foundational verse is Romans 8:31-32. It says,

What can we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?

Search the entire universe and you’ll never find a greater, more powerful ally than God. He has already given us everything we need to get us out of the grip of our sins and into heaven. He sent his very own son, Jesus, into our world to die in our place for our sins. This one act proves that God is totally committed to getting us through whatever might come our way.

Fear of the unknowns and uncertainties in our lives starts to disappear when we know, deep in our souls, that God is on our side. To know that the great God of the universe is 100 percent behind us and committed to getting us through life is what lets us live at peace no matter what.

If you haven’t learned it yet, I hope you will take the challenge to learn to live by faith, not by fear.

We conquer fear with faith. Here’s God’s promise, as we trust him with all we have and all we are, He will direct our paths. He promises to see us through!