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Do you have any high maintenance people in your life? What about difficult, hard to get along people? Unsafe people? Roll through your Rolodex. Who are the people who wear you out? Do you have someone in mind? We all yearn for great relationships and connections with others, but how do we deal with the difficult people who swim through our lives?

If life is a fishbowl, then we’re the fish, swimming around in a bowl trying to relate to each other. So let’s take an up close and personal look at several fish—unsafe people who are draining and difficult. Let me warn you, you may actually see yourself in one of these fish. Maybe God wants to nudge you and tweak your tank. Let’s look at four fish friends and foes.

The most popular fish in America is the goldfish. Everyone loves goldfish, but they are high maintenance fish -- just look at one and it might die on you. Get this. A major cause of death for gold fish is overeating. They will actually eat themselves to death and become self-inflicted floaters. They can’t say no. Sounds rather human wouldn’t you say?

You may know these goldfish as people who are incredibly materialistic and want more and more and more. They feast on the love of money and what it can buy for them. They try to out swim the Jones’ next door who have the latest and the greatest. They don’t share but hoard their stuff instead—blowing bubbles—riding the wave of more, more, more.

In the Bible’s book of Ecclesiastes it says, Those who love money will never have enough. How absurd to think that wealth brings true happiness! Isn’t that the truth? Go fish this fact: of those earning less than $15,000 annually, 95 percent say they have not achieved the American dream: for those who earn more than $50,000, 94 percent say they haven’t achieved the American dream.

Goldfish facts:

Admit your goldfish moments. It’s so easy for all of us to be influenced by materialism. Let’s be honest. "More, more, more" is a part of our diet. It’s hard at times to push away from the table of materialism. So if we are going to handle other goldfish in your life, you’ve got to come to terms with your own goldfish issues first.

Limit your swim time with goldfish. If you swim too much with them, you’ll become one. Materialism is an infectious disease. If you’re not careful, you could become like the readers of Fast Company magazine who responded to this question, "If you could have one more hour per day at home or a $10,000 a year raise, which would you choose?" Eighty-three chose the money. Time at home was selected by the remaining 17 percent.

Show goldfish you care about them--not for what they have, but who they are. Help them to focus on their self worth rather than their net worth.

Our second fish is the puffer fish or blowfish. Whenever this fish is threatened, it puffs up like a ball to about twice its normal size by gulping water. Don’t be fooled by this innocent looking fish. Its poisonous skin is 1000 times deadlier than cyanide. Do you know a human puffer fish that is puffed up on himself or herself? They are prideful, arrogant, and self-promoters.

They play a great game of one-upmanship. If you say, "We went to a Peoria Chiefs baseball game." They say, "We just got back from a Cubs game at Wrigley." If you say, "We spent the weekend at Six Flags." They say, "We just got back from a week at Disneyworld." They always have a better story, or have done something better, or know someone better. When they rub fins and gill with others, they poison relationships.

1 Corinthians 4:7 says, What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn't given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own? When I start to advertise myself during those "puffer fish" moments, I need to remind myself that I haven’t accomplished anything on my own. I can’t take credit or pat myself on the back for something God is doing through me.

Here are some puffer fish facts:

Insecurity drives puffer fish to the center of their tank. People who brag or puff themselves up are usually insecure. And when their security is threatened they get all puffed up and become unsafe, poisonous people who are only concerned about "I" instead of "we." But Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:5, "Love…is not self-seeking."

Quality fish don’t have to advertise. Proverbs 27:2 says, Don't praise yourself; let others do it! When was the last time you saw a Rolls Royce commercial? When you are the best, you don’t have to advertise. In the same way, when God is doing something great in your life, you don’t have to say, "Look at me. I’m awesome. I’m a puffer fish." Give God the credit instead.

There is another fish in our tank of relationships that make goldfish and puffer fish look like wimps. It’s the shark. As a freshman in college, I freaked when I saw Jaws. I never took another bath and never went more than knee deep in the ocean after that. Sharks are aggressive, tough and like to eat people. Do you know any sharks in your relational tank? They attack, devour, backbite, and destroy, leaving lots of victims in their wake. Maybe you work for a shark or you’re married to one. Maybe you’re the shark. Galatians 5:15 challenges us, But if instead of showing love among yourselves you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.

Shark fish facts include these:

Come to terms with the shark within. I’ve bitten and devoured other people. I’ve done some backstabbing—making sarcastic, biting comments. There’s a little shark in all of us. Again, this is not so much about changing the difficult fish in your life as it is about changing you.

Put yourself in their scales. Sharks lash out and strike because they have been wounded, scared or hurt. Maybe they cut their teeth on a lousy childhood or a painful divorce or an abusive relationship. Hurt people hurt people. When you see people on a shark attack, more often than not they’re a hurt person hurting others.

Don’t swim with sharks. I’m not saying you should ignore criticism or sarcasm and not listen to it. There often is a grain of truth in what they say, but most of the time it’s negative comments by negative, shark people. It’s safer on the beach. The great theologian Steve Martin said, "Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes."

Don’t swim down to their level with backbiting and destructive criticism. Stay positive. Refrain from personal shark attacks. Instead, live the 4:29 principle: Ephesians 4:29 says, Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Here’s one last fish in your relational tank. It’s the large mouth bass. I’m talking about those people in your relational tank that gossip by spreading tidbits of information that hurt and damage you and others. Gossip is a billion dollar business. The tabloids thrive on juicy tidbits and secrets. 1 Timothy 5:13 says,…They are likely to become lazy and spend their time gossiping from house to house, getting into other people's business and saying things they shouldn't.

Here are fish facts about the large mouth bass:

Look at your own large mouth first. Do an inventory of your mouth. What’s been coming out of it recently?

Gossip makes you feel better about yourself. I love to hear or read about people who are messed up, whose lives and marriages are in deep weeds because it makes me look and feel better about myself. Resist that impulse.

Turn your large mouth into a small mouth. So what if you’ve become a nosy, vicious, talkative, busybody large-mouth bass, gossiper? Apply God’s truth to the mouth. Ephesians 4:29 says, Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Alan Redpath offered this simple "Think" formula before speaking:

T—is it true?
H—is it helpful?
I—is it inspiring?
N—is it necessary?
K—is it kind?

THINK before speaking! Imagine what our relational tanks would look like if we decided that every word that comes out of our mouths will be affirming and God-honoring.

Babe Ruth had hit 714 home runs during his baseball career and was playing one of his last major league games. The aging star was having a terrible day, and in one inning alone, his errors were responsible for five runs by the Cincinnati Reds.

As the Babe walked off the field after the third out, the booing began. Just then a young boy jumped over the railing onto the playing field. With tears streaking his cheeks, he threw his arms around the legs of his hero. Ruth didn't hesitate. He picked up the boy and hugged him.

Suddenly the booing stopped. In fact, a hush fell over the entire park. In those brief moments, the crowd saw a different kind of hero: a man who in spite of a dismal day on the field could still care about a little boy. He was no longer being judged by his accomplishments--neither the past success nor the present failures--but by a completely different standard. Suddenly, it was not his efforts that mattered, but a relationship.

Relationships matter. They are the key to life.

So, how is your relational tank with God and others? Are you a fish friend or foe?