Fool Proof! Easy Choices
By Roger Pryor, Heartland
Community Church
No matter what you do—if it’s
learning leadership or trying to make a decision—it’s easy to
blow it. We’ve all made dumb decisions and gotten zapped for it.
Every one of us could share a bonehead decision we’ve made.
As I look back on my own foolish
decisions, the little phrase "if only" haunts me. If only
I hadn’t made that financial decision, if only I hadn’t taken
that job, if only I had been more careful, if only I had listened,
if only I hadn’t given into the temptation, if only I hadn’t
gone into debt or signed the document. What’s happening to us? Why
do we make such foolish, naïve, ignorant, stupid decisions? We have
perfected the fine art of self-deception.
I can make my bad ideas look like
good ones. I can talk myself into wasting time and money. I can
sweet talk myself into a wrong relationship or decision. See if any
of these statements sound familiar? "I can quit whenever I
want. Just one more won’t hurt anyone or anything. I haven’t had
a drink in a week." We are pros at irrational excuses. Sadly,
our self-deceived bad decisions end up costing us financially,
relationally, emotionally and even spiritually. So much so, we get
stuck in the quicksand of indecision.
Let’s be honest. We all have made
bad decisions that we wish we could undo and un-live. None of us
plan to marry the wrong person or make a foolish investment or file
for bankruptcy or become an addict or get fired from work.
Unfortunately, most of us don’t put any precautions or safeguards
in place to ensure a happy ending either. We need a foolproof grid,
a filter or standard to live by that will keep us out of those
situations that leave us with regret and pain.
Last year, I read a fantastic book by
a pastor named Andy Stanley, entitled The Best Question Ever.
It’s a question he discovered that has the power to foolproof our
decision-making process. His book has become the basis for this
series we’re launching. In his own words, Stanley describes what
makes this question the best question. "Three things. First, it
can be applied to every decision you ever make for the rest of your
life. Second, it is an easy question to answer; in most cases you’ll
know the answer immediately. Third, it is a question that pierces
the fog of self-deception. Bottom line: what makes the Best Question
Ever the best question ever is that it is the most helpful question
ever."
This best question ever is based on
three verses out of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church at
Ephesus. In the Bible book of Ephesians, Paul writes to frustrated
Christ followers who are trying to live the Christian life in a
pagan culture—just as we are. He offers them the antidote for
avoiding bad decisions. It’s the best question ever.
Paul begins with this warning in
Ephesians 5:15, "so be careful how you live…" If
you want to live a god-pleasing life, you must be careful--not
careless—in the way you live. The word "careful"
literally means "to be on the lookout"—be cautious how
you do money, dating, relationships, marriage, and careers. Be on
the lookout for addictive/destructive behaviors.
Then he lays out for us a new
standard or grid for how we can foolproof our choices. Ephesians
5:15 goes on to state, " not as fools but as those who are
wise." The best question ever for measuring, judging,
evaluating our every decision or opportunity is simply: What is
the wise thing for me to do?
Typically, we’re not asking that
question. Instead we’re asking the wrong questions—questions
culture asks. How far can I go without getting into trouble? How
close to immorality can I get without being immoral? How far over
the speed limit can I go without being pulled over? How much
indulging can I do in some addictive behavior without becoming an
addict? How far can I bend the rules without getting caught? I never
heard Roger preach on this? It’s okay, isn’t it?
These are the wrong questions to be
asking. The questions are not: Is it legal? Is it moral? Is it
right? Is it acceptable? Fool proofing our decisions is based on the
question: What is the wise thing for me to do? We’re not supposed
to live as the unwise or fools, but as the wise.
Just because something isn’t
illegal doesn’t make it right for you. Just because the dealership
is offering 0% interest for five years doesn’t make it okay for
you to buy a new car. Just because the bank will loan you money,
doesn’t mean you should buy a house. Consensual sex doesn’t make
it right. Just because there is not a "thou shalt not"
attached to a situation, doesn’t necessarily make it a "thou
shalt." "Thirty days, risk free" could be an
invitation to a disaster.
Take a moment and think back to your
biggest regret that you wish you could undo or un-live. How
different could it have been if you had asked and applied the best,
most helpful question ever and run your decision through the lens of
wisdom. What is the wise thing for me to do?
The Apostle Paul drives the
point further in Ephesians 5:16, "Make
the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil
days." To
live a careful, cautious life means we must not blur the lines or
cave in to the message of culture. We don’t live in a morally
neutral world—there is a strong undertow that drags us away from
wisdom toward evil and self-deception.
As a kid, my family and I would visit
my cousins near Galveston, Texas each summer. We’d always venture
to the beach for a day of fun. I was amazed at how quickly the
undertow would push us down the beach without us even knowing it. In
the same way, we live in a morally evil undertow and if we aren’t
careful it will suck us into some vice and away from wise decisions.
Let me ask you, Does culture ever really get you to where you want
to go? These are evil days.
Stanley says, "When everything around you
is drifting along at the same rate, it’s easy to be fooled into
thinking you’re standing still. Without a stationary reference
point, it is impossible to ascertain where you are, where you aren’t,
and where you ought to be." We all need a stationary reference
point—that point is the best question ever. Otherwise, we’ll be
asking the question: "How did I get myself into this
mess?"
Paul concludes in Ephesians 5:17, "Don't
act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to
do." Don’t be a fool, thinking you are immune to the
undertow of an evil world, but instead
try to understand what
the Lord wants you to do.
The word "understand" doesn’t
mean "comprehension." Literally, it means to "face up
to" what God’s plan or will is for you. Stop playing games.
Stop pretending. Stop your justifying. Stop making up excuses. Stop
your rationalizing. Rather, take some time to ask this question, let
it penetrate your heart, embrace the answer, and then do the wise
thing. It’s time to face the facts about your self-deceptive,
foolish hearts and live out God’s wisdom in your attitudes and
actions.
When it comes to asking the best
question ever, we need to ask it in three different ways because
each version gives you a unique perspective on your situation and
the decision you need to make. The first way challenges you to ask
the question by looking in the rear view mirror. "In light of
my past experiences, what is the wise thing for me to do?"
Rather than in light of what everyone else is doing, it’s based on
the last time you got the invitation, dated, got the credit card
application, faced a compromising situation, saw a bargain, was
offered free money—Ask: what is the wise thing to do in light of
my past circumstances or experiences?
No one has the identical past or
history. Therefore, each of us is predisposed to certain weaknesses
and strengths relationally, financially, morally, ethically, and
professionally. Consequently, what is right and safe for you may not
be right and safe for me. That’s why each of us must ask the
question in light of our own personal experiences and history. Our
past must always be consulted when we’re asking the question.
Secondly, ask the best question in
light of your current circumstances. In light of what just happened
or in light of where I am currently in my relationships, finances,
health, emotions, and walk with God—what is the wise thing for me
to do? Life is seasonal. What is appropriate today may be completely
inappropriate or unwise a month from now. What is foolish today may
be prudent tomorrow.
So in light of my past experiences
and my current status, what is the wise thing for me to do? Finally,
ask the wise question in light of your future. In light of my future
hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do? Where do you
want your finances, dating, marriage, kids, career, health, and
relationship with God to be in the future?
Sadly, unwise decisions of the past
and present have robbed us of our future. When we make decisions
without any thought as to how they will impact our future, we rob
ourselves of our preferred hopes and dreams. It’s the future grid
that brings today’s choices into proper focus.
For some of you the best question is
uncomfortable and threatening because you know the answer, but you
feel obligated to defend your cause. When the best question butts
heads with your current choices and your chest gets a little tight
and your palms get sweaty, you can take action and make a change or
rehearse the old worn-out excuses of self-deception.
Are you ready to acknowledge what you
know in your heart is true? Are you prepared to ask the best
question and follow through? Imagine how your life could be
different. Imagine how responding to one commonsense question will
take you where you want to go.
Here’s the Heartland Fool Proof
Series Challenge—it’s not easy, but will you ask the best
question in every area of your life? In light of my past, present
and future, what is the wise thing for me to do? Let me close
with the key verse of our series. Proverbs 28:26 says, "He
who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept
safe."
Imagine where your life would be
today if you had lived out this verse ten years ago, five years ago,
six months ago, or last week? Imagine the hurts and pain and regrets
you could have been delivered from? Ask God: Give me the wisdom and
the courage to know what is right and the courage to do what’s
right even when it’s hard and goes against the undertow of
culture.
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