Fool Proof: Easy Does It
By Roger Pryor, Heartland
Community Church
Imagine for a moment that you and a
friend are trying to cross Veteran’s Parkway at College Avenue on
foot. You have six lanes of traffic to navigate. Your friend is in
total chit-chat mode and completely oblivious to the fact that your
timing is off to get to the other side. Your only chance to get
across before the light changes green and you get hit by a car is to
run. So in a split second, you tell your friend to hurry up. They
ask why or what’s the hurry? With no time to talk weather,
philosophy, or offer an explanation, you scream, "RUN!"
(Not easy does it.)
When it comes to the intersection of
sexual immorality, "run" is the operative word if you want
to keep from crashing morally. If you want to enjoy the rewards of
having chosen the moral street of wisdom, you must be prepared to
"run." Why? Andy Stanley explains, "Nothing has
stolen more dreams, dashed more hopes, broken up more families, and
messed up more people psychologically than our propensity to
disregard God’s commands regarding sexual purity."
We’re applying the best question
ever to the arena of our sexual morality. We all have regrets from
decisions we’ve made, but no regret runs deeper than the regrets
associated with unwise, immoral sexual decisions. We’ve jumped
into relationships we shouldn’t have. We’ve doused our minds
with pornography. We’ve gone too far—got too involved and
crossed too many immoral intersections that we wish we’d never
crossed.
It’s the "best question
ever" that has the potential to fool-proof our decisions and
provide a regret-free life. The question is not what is the right,
legal, moral, good, acceptable, permissible, or cool thing for me to
do, but in light of sexual purity, what is the wise thing for me
to do.
From our perspective, we need this
wise question because all of our sexual meltdowns begin as a series
of unwise choices. Our greatest moral regrets are always preceded
by a series of unwise choices. I’m not necessarily talking
about wrong, illegal, unacceptable, or immoral choices, but unwise
choices. Can you think back to one of your moral regrets? Were they
not a series of small, unwise decisions you made that pushed you
into a dangerous intersection of regret?
Maybe it was the drink after work,
the phone call, the trip, the business lunch, the touch, the
magazine subscription, the invitation, the hug, or confiding in
another person. You see, you choose yourself into the intersection
of disaster because none of these things I’ve listed are
necessarily wrong or illegal or immoral or unacceptable—just
unwise.
It’s the best question that
will keep you away from a moral fender bender or crash. It will
force you to face your own self-deception and expose the fallacy of
the one-liner, "There’s
nothing wrong with.…"
You may be right on this one. When you play out all the
"nothing wrong" choices, you’ll find yourself caught in
the middle of a crowded immoral intersection with no where to go.
Culture baits or tempts you to the curb of a moral disaster by
saying, "there’s nothing wrong with…"
And we don’t need a Sunday school
lesson to be reminded that today’s culture has drawn the line of
modesty and purity way too close to the intersection of moral
disaster. There is no margin for error if we make a few unwise
choices. No one intends to get addicted or to have an affair. No one
intends to destroy a family. No one intends to get run over by
pornography. But it takes more than good intentions to stay safe; we
need a guardrail. It’s the best-question ever that has the
potential to rescue us from disaster and bring us to a place of
safety.
In order to apply the best question
ever in our lives, we need to see and understand God’s
perspective. Imagine that for one day you get to sit in God’s
luxury suite in heaven and watch the world collide in the moral
intersections of life. One after another you see people being picked
off morally as they try to safely navigate the busy intersection of
sexual immorality.
You see all the regrets and pain from
misusing the gift of sex that God created for us to enjoy. You see
marriages totaled by affairs. You see kids torn apart by divorce.
You see abuse and irreparable wounds and scars. You see the epidemic
of pornography and the damage of promiscuous lifestyles. You see
every way God’s gift of sex is misused and abused.
So as you sit in heaven’s luxury
box, what might you hear God saying? What might you say?
"People, RUN! You’re about to get side swiped. I know you’re
busy and distracted and maybe oblivious to the unwise choices you’re
making, but RUN or you’ll be plowed over by oncoming moral traffic
that will damage or destroy your life. I have the big picture, and I
can see where your choices are leading you. I don’t have time to
explain all this to you, just trust me and run!"
Now step out of the luxury box and
put yourself back on the curb where life’s moral wrecks occur. If
you aren’t tight with God, you may question why God even has a
right to meddle in your sexual conduct. "What right does Mr.
Cosmic Killjoy have to take away my fun by telling me to run and
avoid the temptations of the dangerous intersection?"
Let me say, you’ve been fed some
misinformation about God. God is the creator of sex. Sex is an
awesome gift, but it comes with instructions to enhance your
experience, not to diminish it. But when it is used incorrectly, it
can create huge relational accidents and consequences. God is not
against sex. He’s for it. He’s not against you. He’s for you.
But when you fool around with this unbelievable gift and misuse it,
you’ll hurt yourself and others around you. So, RUN!
God paints His perspective through
the words of the Apostle Paul who wrote a letter to the church in
Corinth, Greece where people were being picked off left and right by
dangerous moral intersections. So Paul speaks for God in no
uncertain terms: 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us. "Run away from
sexual sin." Need any clarification? Any questions? Are we
clear on this one?
When you find yourself in the middle
of a moral intersection and you see her coming or him making a move
on you or you see some dangerous stuff coming your way, are you
going to hesitate, gaze, flirt, rationalize, quote your favorite
line: "there’s nothing wrong with…", and play Superman
and fight against all the immoral traffic coming your way? God says—because
of what is at stake—RUN! Danger is looking you in the face. So
in light of your past moral failures or behaviors, current
temptations and future hopes and dreams, what’s the wise thing to
do? RUN!
If seeing all the relational and
personal carnage left from moral wrecks in the intersection of
immorality aren’t enough, Paul goes on to give us another reason
to run. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "No other sin so clearly
affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin
against your own body." Here’s something most of us don’t
understand. Sexual sin is in a category all to itself. It’s the
most dangerous type of sin. We can’t write this one off as a minor
misdemeanor. Sexual sin is unique in that it’s a sin against you.
So what makes this kind of sin so powerful and dangerous?
We’re able to work through
and move on after most other sinful choices, but sexual sin
is not as easy. Memories don’t go away, do they? The images of the
pornography I was introduced to as a teenager are still faintly
etched on my mind. The relational and emotional scars and the
struggle for intimacy have the potential to follow you throughout
life. Shame runs deep and regret runs wide. Sexual sin is not just a
physical act; it attaches itself to your soul and won’t go way,
making it extremely difficult for you to ever forgive yourself.
In light of the extreme consequences
from a moral wreck, aren’t some extreme precautions needed as
well? So what is the wise thing for me to do? I believe wisdom would
dictate that you set high personal standards or boundaries for your
life so far back from sexual immorality that if you were to violate
your standard, the consequences would be minimal. Even if you
violate one of your personal standards, a silent alarm goes off in
your conscience—RUN, not because you’ve done something
immoral/wrong but because you compromised your standard.
So what do these standards look like?
It will be different for everyone. Some require higher standards
than others, based on their past and present circumstances. For some
it’s canceling the internet or putting a porn block on the
computer or refraining from certain types of movies or TV shows or
eliminating tempting situations with the opposite sex. Decide where
you’ll go and not go, whom you’ll be with and not with. If you’re
dating, how far are you going to go?
If you don’t decide your personal
standards, someone else will. If you don’t set your personal
standards, someone will force theirs on you. The only way to do the
wise thing is to set personal standards or guardrails far
from the intersection of moral disaster. Taking extreme measures is
a step you will never regret as long as you live.
So to what degree will you go to
protect what’s important to you?
You can’t duke it out in the middle of a sexually charged
intersection and win. You win way back where it’s awkward and
unreasonable, where friends laugh and call you a prude—at an
extreme distance from trouble. So what is the wise thing for you to
do? Set personal standards, take God at his word, and run when you
find yourself crossing into a dangerous intersection. And God will
lead you to a place of safety. It’s in the safety of God’s
hands that you experience the beauty of true love—a love that
honors God and awakens your spouse to God’s gift of love and
romance.
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