Foolproof—Easy Answers
By Roger Pryor, Heartland
Community Church
A group of African pastors came to
the US for a church conference. During their free time they went
shopping in downtown Chicago. After several hours, they got turned
around and lost. They found a pay phone, called their sponsor who
told them to find a street corner and read off the names of the two
streets. One of the pastors returned to the phone with the following
information, "We’re at the corner of Walk and Don’t
Walk." Sometimes when it comes to making a decision, we find
ourselves paralyzed at the same intersection—to walk or not walk.
Today, we’re finishing up our
series on how to fool proof our decisions by asking the best
question ever. Help me out with the question: What is the wise
thing for me to do? In light of my past experiences, current
circumstances and future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing
for me to do? The question is not what is the right, moral,
acceptable, cool, best, or legal thing to do, but what is the wise
thing for me to do.
But what happens when you ask the
best question, and you still don’t know the wise thing to do? You’re
stuck at the corner and you don’t know whether to walk or not.
Asking the best question will usually narrow your options, but it
won’t necessarily give you just one answer. So how do you make the
wise choice about relationships, college, careers, time and finances
when there’s more than one wise choice? Flip a coin? Walk? Don’t
walk? Choose not to choose?
Making a wise choice gets doubly
difficult when the fog of emotions and ignorance
descends upon you. Positive or negative emotions cloud the picture,
making it hard to think straight and to discern the wise thing to
do, especially in those emotionally charged arenas of money, love,
and power.
Out-of-control emotions can make you
unstable and unbalanced and drive you to make decisions based on
emotion rather than wisdom. Think about it. Probably some of your
greatest regrets in life were based on decisions you made when your
emotions were raging out of control.
The fog of ignorance also
makes wise decisions difficult when you don’t have the expertise,
education, training, or experience to decide. When the lights went
out in the auditorium a few weeks ago, I called Jim and Kevin. You
wouldn’t want me attempting to make a wise decision about anything
electrical. It’s beyond my expertise and abilities. I’d probably
choose to go with lava lamps instead. On the other hand, if you want
me to find a principle from the Bible for you, bring it on! That’s
something I can do.
So when your emotions are raging and
your competence is lacking, how do you make wise decisions? How do
you see through the fog? What do you do when wisdom seems out of
reach? Here’s what wise people do; they exercise the best-kept
secret for decision-making. This goes against every fiber of the
male psyche. They ask for help. They don’t pretend to know
everything or act like they’re smarter than they really are. They
seek out the counsel of others.
Andy Stanley puts it this way, "Wise
people know when they don’t know; and they’re not afraid to go
to those who do know." Wise people
know their limits and when they reach the end of their knowledge or
their emotions are raging, they do the wise thing and ask for help.
Last week, the word was "run" when facing sexual
immorality. Today, the word is HELP!
According to the Bible, the wisest
man to live on the earth besides Jesus was King Solomon. God granted
Solomon one request of his choosing. Of all the things Solomon could
have asked for, he asked God for wisdom, which pleased God. So God
responds in 1 Kings 3:11–12, "Because you have asked for
wisdom in governing my people and have not asked for a long life or
riches for yourself or the death of your enemies—I will give you
what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding mind
such as no one else has ever had or ever will have!"
Now here’s what's amazing: Solomon,
who now is the go-to-guy for wisdom in just about every arena of
life imaginable, promotes seeking out wise counsel more than all
biblical writers combined. He knew the best-kept secret of wise
people—wise people seek out wise counsel.
Proverbs 1:5 says, "Let
the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning
get guidance. Proverbs 15:22 adds, "Plans
fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed."
The reason wise people are wise is because
they defer to wise people on the front end of major decisions. "Wise
people know when they don’t know; and they’re not afraid to go
to those who do know." If
the best-question ever is What is the wise thing for me to do. The
second best question is What do YOU
think is the wisest thing for me to do.
There is a great story in the Old Testament
that illustrates the second-best question ever. If you’ve been
around church, you’ve heard the story of Joseph who was sold into
Egyptian slavery by his brothers. As a slave, he was falsely
accused by his master’s wife of inappropriate sexual advances and
thrown in jail for 10 years. But through an amazing set of events,
Joseph was ordered to interpret the dream of Pharaoh that was an
unsolvable mystery to everyone else.
Here’s the most powerful man on the earth,
who considered himself a god, asking for advice from a foreign slave
and jailed criminal with a rap sheet. Joseph explains the dream—that
there will be seven years of bumper crops, followed by seven years
of drought and famine.
But Joseph isn’t finished. He does the
unthinkable. He tells Pharaoh what to do in order to prepare for the
famine. That’s like a fifth-grade babysitter telling you how to
raise your children. It just doesn’t play well. But Joseph, at the
risk of being misunderstood and killed, says in Genesis 41:33,
"My suggestion is that you find the wisest man in Egypt and
put him in charge of a nationwide program." Joseph even
lays out the details for stockpiling 20 percent of the crops each
year until the famine hits in seven years.
Pharaoh was so pleased with
Joseph’s insight and wisdom; he gave the job to Joseph. Listen in
Pharaoh's reaction to Joseph's advice in Genesis 41:39–40, "Turning
to Joseph, Pharaoh said, 'Since God has revealed the meaning of the
dreams to you, you are the wisest man in the land! I hereby appoint
you to direct this project. You will manage my household and
organize all my people. Only I will have a rank higher than
yours.'" "Wise people know
when they don’t know; and they’re not afraid to go to those who
do know." Solomon and Pharaoh had
both figured out the best-kept secret of wise people.
A married couple was celebrating their
sixtieth wedding anniversary. At the party everyone wanted to know
how they managed to stay married so long. The husband offered these
wise words, "When we were first married, we came to an
agreement. I would make all the major decisions, and my wife would
make all the minor decisions." At which point the wife
interjected, "And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed
to make a major decision."
Here are three principles of
wisdom when you can’t find an easy answer to your decisions. 1.
You are never so successful that you no longer need wise counsel.
Solomon wasn’t too wise to listen. Pharaoh wasn’t too powerful
to listen. If they needed wisdom, you will never get to a level
where you don’t need an injection of wisdom from others. Even if
you are the most intelligent, well-educated expert in your field, no
one rises above his or her need for wise counsel.
2. You will never reach your full
potential without utilizing the wisdom of others. Without
Pharaoh tapping into Joseph’s wisdom, Egypt would have starved to
death. When I was a teenager, I thought I was so smart that I didn’t
need the counsel of others. I may have done okay in life without the
input of others, but I would never have reached my full potential
without outside help and wisdom. The number one golfer in the world—Tiger
Woods—has a coach. That coach isn’t as good or as successful as
Tiger, but Tiger knows as most athletes do that…
" Wise
people know when they don’t know; and they’re not afraid to go
to those who do know." When
it comes to parenting, finances, marriage, running a business, your
spiritual life or emotional challenges, you’ll never reach your
peak performance without another set of wise eyes or some kind of
wise outside input. No one rises above their need for wise counsel.
3. Wise counsel may come from an
unlikely source. To Pharaoh
it didn’t matter how long Joseph had been in the dungeon, what he
had been accused of, or even his nationality. There was wisdom in
Joseph’s counsel. If anything comes out of the story of Pharaoh
and Joseph it’s this: Pharaoh was wise enough to know that wisdom
comes from unlikely sources. Wise people are wide open to wisdom
from those ahead and behind them—socially, financially,
relationally, spiritually.
I struggle with this. My tendency is
to listen to wise, successful, skillful people who are at a certain
level above and beyond me. In my short sightedness I’ll ask,
"What can a loser or a lowlife teach me about life? If they’re
so smart, why haven’t they made better choices?" But this is
all a big smoke screen. It’s a pride thing for me because I’m
convinced I know more than I really do. Besides, I don’t want to
hear what I already know they’re going to say.
Wise-man Solomon said it best in Proverbs
12:15, "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man
listens to advice." If you refuse wise counsel; if you
refuse to face the truth you don’t want to hear; and if you insist
on your own way, you’ll be a card-carrying fool. In the end, the
wise person who seeks wise advice breathes a sigh of relief; the
fool, a sigh of regret.
So if you are faced with a decision,
and you’re in the middle of an intense situation where emotions
have clouded your way, don’t trust your personal chooser to
get it right. Do the wise thing and seek out wise advice. If you
must make a decision that is outside your expertise or ability, don’t
pretend or fake wisdom. Do the wise thing and seek out wise advice. Asking
others is not a sign of your lack of wisdom, but the evidence of
your wisdom.
When the best question ever doesn’t
give you all the clarity you need, ask someone you trust and
respect, "In light of my past experiences, current
circumstances, and future hopes and dreams, what do you think
is the wisest thing for me to do?" Why do this? Because "Wise
people know when they don’t know; and they’re not afraid to go
to those who do know."
"He who trusts in himself
is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe."
Proverbs 28:26
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