LOST and Confused
By Roger Pryor, Heartland
Community Church
Every one of us lugs suitcases around
that are full of doubt, questions, regrets, confusion, and lost
dreams. Our cases are full of disappointments we must deal with.
Some are sudden shockers like the rejection by a friend or
spouse, loss of a job, a financial disaster, death of a loved one, a
frightening diagnosis, or an affair.
Other disappointments are more like minor
quakes. They’re more like "emotional arthritis"—chronic,
ongoing persistent—that just wears us down over time. Loneliness,
injustice, relational disconnects, a difficult situation such as a
physical or emotional illness that won’t go away.
Of course there’s also the nagging
disappointments of daily life. The car breaks down. You strain
some muscles. The vacation gets cancelled because the kid gets sick.
The weeds won’t die. You spend half your day in the Taco Bell
drive-thru or Krispy Kreme runs out of donuts.
Bottom line: it’s not hard
to be disappointed with life. How else are you to respond when
life serves you lemons? I’m not talking about the fruit here.
It’s products, people, situations that don’t live up to your
expectations. What are some of those lemons in your life today? Make
a mental list—your job, your health, your house, the person
sitting next to you.
How else are you to respond when you’ve been
good and life goes bad? It’s
confusing. Some of you trusted Christ as your Savior only for life
to get into your face. The marriage gets rocky. The kids go nuts.
You clean up your act only for your life to fall apart—the
refrigerator and latte machine die, your pet or spouse goes on a
rampage, the Cubs win the World Series. At moments like this you are
vulnerable and confused. Where is God? "I give my life to God,
and this is the thanks I get?" At this point you might be
tempted to bail out. Your heart gets hard against God and others.
Are you tracking with me? Life is confusing and disappointing.
Here’s the truth about our
disappointments and problems: "There is only one thing I can
influence and control when it comes to a problem: my reaction to
it." You see, the issue is not whether or not you’ll
experience disappointments and problems. The issue is how you’ll
deal with them when they happen.
So how do we typically react to the
pain of disappointment and problems? Here are four pain management
strategies we apply. The first is 1. Some people deny or ignore
the pain of disappointment. Some just pretend that everything is
okay. One of the characters on the TV show "Lost" is
Shannon. For most of the first season, she sits selfishly on the
beach tanning and reading while waiting for help to arrive. She is
in total denial. Denial never produces a solution to a problem. What’s
the first step in a 12-step program? Admitting there is a problem.
A second strategy for dealing with
disappointment is to 2. Ease the pain. Charlie, in
"Lost" dealt with the pain of disappointment by doing
drugs. He saw the gap between what is and what ought to be, and it
hurt. He admitted he had a problem, but he wasn’t willing to stick
around and solve it. Instead he tried to drown it in a pleasurable
activity that sucked him into an addiction. In the same way, life
hurts. So we reach for a something sweet; we reach for a six-pack;
we reach for something pornographic; we reach for a credit card and
go shopping. We do whatever it takes to escape the reality of the
misery of life for just a little while. Unfortunately, we end up in
some addiction.
Some people deny the pain of
disappointment. Some try to ease the pain. 3. Some blame the pain
on others. They see the unfair gap between what ought to be and
what is and they say to themselves, "Somebody is going to pay.
My lawyer will call your lawyer." So in bitterness they take it
out on others. Sawyer, in "Lost," is so bitter and
disappointed about his childhood, he blames everyone and makes his
fellow passengers pay by hording supplies and being a jerk.
But there is a better pain management
strategy for our disappointments and problems in life. It’s God’s
strategy: 4. Embrace the pain. Stop denying it—stop trying
to ease the pain through some addictive behavior. Stop blaming
others. Instead face it head on. Touch it. Feel it. Embrace it and
let it drive you to the source of comfort. You will never know the
depths of God’s love for you until you identify and fully embrace
your disappointment with life.
The Apostle Paul understood what it
means to embrace the pain when he said in 2 Corinthians 4:8–9 "We
are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and
broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are
hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we
get up again and keep going." Here’s someone who was
experiencing the pain of disappointment with life but chose to
embrace it and not be overcome by it.
Life hurts. Life disappoints. Life
serves up lemons, but you don’t have to give up. God wants you to
endure the difficulties and disappointments of life. How do you
embrace the pain? How do you overcome life’s disappointments?
Jesus has an answer for the pain of
life’s disappointments and problems. He offers His solution to a
group of Christ followers who are doing God’s work but are getting
hammered by the sudden shockers, the minor quakes and the nagging
disappointments of life. Here’s what Jesus says to the church in
Smyrna—an ancient city in Turkey who needed a new way to react:
Revelation 2:9: "I know about
your suffering…" The first thing you need to know in
dealing with life’s disappointments is that Jesus knows your
suffering, troubles, and afflictions. Don’t miss this. You’re
not alone in your suffering. Jesus knows.
He doesn’t just know intellectually
about your suffering, He has experienced it first hand--worse than
you ever will. He was the best man who ever lived. He did exactly
what His Father in heaven told Him to do. Yet He ended up dying the
worst kind of capital punishment this world has ever known. Jesus
knows and understands your troubles. He’s in your corner. He’s
been where you are, and nothing--nothing escapes His attention, not
even your trouble.
Jesus goes on to say, "I know
about your suffering and your poverty." Jesus knows your
poverty. In the ancient culture of Turkey when someone became a
Christ follower and turned their back on worshipping idols of their
day, they were fired at work, excommunicated from their families and
friends. They were impoverished because they followed Jesus.
They may be thinking: this is not
what we signed up for. But here’s the good news. Jesus adds in
Revelation 2:9, "I know about your poverty--but you are
rich!" Here’s His point. Even if you don’t have much of
anything and have Jesus, you are rich. If you’ve got Jesus, you’ve
got the ultimate portfolio. If you’ve got Jesus, you’ve got
enough.
So not only does Jesus know your suffering,
He knows your poverty. Thirdly, He knows your enemies.
I like that idea. Revelation 2:9 also says, "I know the
slander of those opposing you. They say they are Jews, but they
really aren't because theirs is a synagogue of Satan." The
early church at Smyrna was not persecuted by the Roman Empire. That
didn’t occur until about the third century. Sadly, it was the
Jewish community, the rightly religious people—God’s chosen
people who were persecuting Christ followers. Don’t you find it
interesting that sometimes trouble and pain comes from sources we’d
never expect?
When you put it together, Jesus was
writing to a group of Christ followers who were disappointed with
life. Life had served up lemons to them. They were confused. They
expected the palace, but they got the pit of suffering, poverty and
opposition instead. What’s with that? Jesus offers us a two-part
response for overcoming the pain of disappointment in life.
First of all, Jesus says in
Revelation 2:10, "Don't be afraid of what you are about to
suffer." 1. Don’t be afraid. Don’t get derailed
by the "what ifs"—those things you worry about and that
keep you stuck in an uncertain future. We talked about fear last
week. When life is heading south, don’t fear. God commands us in
Joshua 1:9, "I command you—be strong and courageous! Do
not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you
wherever you go." You don’t need to fear the pain and
disappointments of life. God’s right in the middle of them.
Jesus offers a second response to
your pain of disappointment. He says, 2. "Be faithful."
Revelation 2:10 says, "Remain faithful even when facing
death, and I will give you the crown of life." Hang in
there. Don’t bail out. Remain faithful to Me—even if it means
facing death.
Little did this church in Smyrna
recognize how true this would be for their pastor, Polycarp. The
Jewish population who so resisted the message of Jesus as the true
Messiah finally pressured some Roman officials in the area to arrest
Polycarp. The captain of the troops so respected Polycarp that he
pleaded with him, "Just say, Caesar is lord.’ You don’t
even have to mean it…. We don’t want to do this to you."
Polycarp said, "He’s been my
God for 86 years, and he has never betrayed me yet. How can I now
betray my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" Polycarp was tied to a
stake and set on fire. Jesus said, Remain faithful even when facing
death.
Did you notice the little hint Jesus
gives to those who remain faithful? "I will give you the
crown of life." Heaven. The gap between what ought to be
and what is will not be closed until heaven. Do you expect life to
be fair on earth? Do you expect it to be devoid of pain? Do you
expect yourself to be immune from the sudden shockers and quakes of
life? Do you expect this world to provide you with all your comfort
and joy and happiness?
We live in a short, nasty, unfair,
painful, disappointing world. The best is yet to come for those who
have trusted Jesus as their Savior. This world is not your home, so
live for heaven. Don’t demand that this life be like heaven. What
can you expect from a world that crucified Jesus? The pain you feel
in this life is a longing for heaven. Let it drive you there. Let it
drive you to the source of comfort—the Savior who is preparing a
place and a crown for you in heaven. He’s your only hope to carry
you through the storms of life.
In the first season of
"Lost," a common bad-fear-producing phrase you hear is
"we’re not alone." There are others on the island. Their
supposed presence produced a bad kind of fear among the survivors.
But God’s presence produces the opposite in us. God says,
"You’re not alone in your troubles and challenges. I’m with
you. I’ll walk alongside you. You’re not alone on some deserted
island of bad circumstances. Fear not. I am with you."
Back in the mid-80s, a movie was
produced called "The Bear." It’s a documentary about a
little bear cub whose mom dies in an accident but is adopted by a
big daddy Kodiak bear who teaches the cub how to survive in the
wild. One day they get separated from each other.
There’s a mountain lion that has
been tracking this cub since his mother died. The lion is ready to
pounce on the cub and have him for dinner, when the little cub does
what big daddy bear had taught him. He rises up on his hind legs and
roars—actually it was more like a squeak. Immediately, the lion
turns and runs away in fear, much to the cub’s surprise. What the
cub doesn’t realize is that big daddy bear is behind him on his
hind legs with his paws up. The cub missed the fact that he was
never alone. Though he didn’t see, hear, touch, or smell his
daddy, his father was with him all the time. He was never out of the
safe presence of his father.
In the same way, God challenges us
not to fear or be afraid because He is present with us—right
behind/beside us. God is saying, "There is nothing you and I
can’t handle together. Whatever you’re going through, there’s
no power on earth that can separate you from my loving care and
protection. Live in the reality of My presence. Practice My
presence. I will never let you go."
Now if that is true, there’s
nothing—not loss, not failure, not loneliness, not bankruptcy, not
divorce, not cancer, not sickness, not death itself—nothing that
has the power to separate you from the love and care of our Heavenly
Father in this world and the world to come.
Author Susan Jeffers says, "The
ultimate fear—underneath all of our other fears of loneliness or
rejection or failure or so on—the ultimate fear is, ‘I can’t
handle it. Something really bad is going to happen to me, and I won’t
be able to handle it." That’s the ultimate fear.
The ultimate promise from God is,
"There’s nothing you and I can’t handle together." One
of the great "I can handle it" statements in all of
literature was written by the Apostle Paul. Imagine his situation.
He had lost his job, his reputation had been trashed, and he had
been falsely arrested. He was physically beaten and put in jail,
awaiting possible execution.
He had every reason to fear, but
instead he said in Philippians 4:13, "For I can do
everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I
need." Can you imagine what life would be like for you and
me if we could wake up each morning facing all the good and bad
things of the day, breathing in and out one thought. "I can
handle everything through Christ who gives me strength."
Because of His presence and help, God will give you the perspective
you need to live a life of faith. There’s nothing to fear. He will
never let go of you.
Do you want God’s presence and
help? Do you want His perspective on life? You must be rightly
related to Him. If you’re not a Christ follower, the Bible
explains how you can be. Romans 3:25 says, "For
God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to satisfy
God's anger against us. We are made right with God when we believe
that Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his life for us."
Remember this promise Psalm 27:1–3 makes, "The
LORD is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The
LORD protects me from danger—so why should I tremble? When evil
people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they
will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart
will know no fear. Even if they attack me, I remain confident."
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