Shrek-onalities-Steady and Supportive
Ron Donhardt

When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

• Words that describe S’s are empathetic, steady, & cooperative.
• S’s tend to be your team players and are supportive of others.
• S’s prefer being behind the scenes, working in helpful, consistent, and predictable ways.
• S’s prefer security and comfort over change and conflict. (A person can be somewhat dreamy in their approach to life, like Fiona.)
• S’s are often good listeners and are usually well-liked. (Often seen as "nice guys," "nice gals.")

"S’s" are cool people—but being humans, they might have some chinks in their armor like the rest of us. So how do you maximize your "S" qualities?

1. Accentuate the good things you bring to the table!

When you read the list that comprises the Fruit of the Spirit, it is hard NOT to see a person with an "S" personality as having all these qualities—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! Show me a Steady and Supportive person who doesn’t have these characteristics!

Fortunately, God has blessed this church with many such people. Of course, they themselves know in what areas they struggle. Since some of us with "S" personalities are such nice people, there might be a few things that we try to achieve at any costs, for example, "goodness" and "faithfulness." Let’s look at these two qualities.

2. Seek goodness. Avoid compromise. Speak the truth in love.

If a person is so set on seeing other people happy, they might be tempted to overlook some serious issues in order to keep the relationship alive. If we see a loved one who is heading down the wrong path, we might be tempted to comprise the truth and not confront them on it. However, confrontation does not mean that love is absent from the relationship! Look what God says about speaking the truth:

Several hundred years before Christ, Israel was in bad shape. They were not even treating each other right.

Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie…. Jeremiah 9:5
(NIV)

Years ago I compared 3 management-related articles to find out if anyone had the same picture of what makes a good manager of people. All three agreed upon "honesty" as being one of those necessary ingredients. Proverbs states this way:

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. Proverbs 16:13
(NIV)

About 1900 years ago. in the church of Ephesus the people were avoiding problems and issues. Paul admonishes them:

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ….Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body….
 Ephesians 4:15, 25 (NIV)

Not wishing to offend comes from an extreme pull in the direction of people. Be aware of this pull and seek REAL goodness. Avoid compromising the truth just to save face. Speak the truth in love!

3. Grow in faithfulness. Allow God to direct your life.

Abraham was a good example of an "S" personality; however: there’s another guy in the Bible who, I think, shows a healthy "S" personality (i.e., he has overcome the goodness/truthfulness issues and faithfulness challenges. His name was Barnabas. He held some sort of leadership role in the early church in Jerusalem. (It may surprise some of you, but all 4 personalities have potential for leadership in different ways.) From the book of Acts, we learn that he was entrusted with some teaching situations and some missions-related activities where discernment, admonition, and encouragement were needed. He appeared to be immensely loyal to Christ and to the church. Although not striking out on his own, he was chosen for delivering specific messages, and of course, he was dependable in delivering those messages.

News of this reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord. Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he found him, he brought him [back] to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch. Acts 11:22-26
(NIV)

Barnabas was clearly in a position of representing the church in Jerusalem and for credibly teaching the early church in Antioch. He was a man of encouragement and a man of faith in God. He was consistent and dependable enough in fulfilling his mission to search for Paul, because he even went to Paul’s hometown to look for him. In addition, he allowed himself to be stretched by adapting to the needs of the church in Antioch by remaining there and working with them. He was a team player in the sense that he taught with Paul. He was a "nice guy," a good man, a faithful man! Here in this scripture he’s even given top billing over Paul.

Under Barnabas’ and Paul’s teachings, the church in Antioch got together an offering for the poorer mother-church in Jerusalem and had Barnabas and Paul deliver it. On the way out of Jerusalem, they pick up Barnabas’ cousin.

When Barnabas and Saul had finished their mission, they returned from Jerusalem, taking with them John, also called Mark. Acts 12:25
(NIV)

Christianity must have affected Barnabas’ family in a positive way, because we find his cousin, John Mark, accompanying them back to the mission field. However, something must have gone wrong, because soon we see John Mark leaving the mission field.

From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem. Acts 13:13 (NIV)

This act of John Mark shirking his duties was not looked upon too well, and apparently everyone knew about it. It all came to a head on one unsuspecting day….

Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus…. Acts 15:36-39 (NIV)

Wow, even the first century church had arguments and divisions! The mission team of Barnabas and Paul splits up. Even though there may have been a family relationship, Barnabas saw something in John Mark that made him want to give the young man a second try. Paul, however, went "D-extreme" on everyone, and so Barnabas took a stand (drew a line) and left for the churches in Cyprus. Up until this time, we don’t see Barnabas making his own decision. He follows others’ directions and even takes a backseat to Paul, who becomes the main speaker of the team. However, even a so-called passive personality like "S" reaches a limit.

Meanwhile, everyone else follows Paul. Luke (the writer of Acts) records many cool things that happened on the subsequent trips with Paul. Barnabas, however, sadly fades from the picture and is never mentioned again.

What took place in Cyprus? Did Barnabas make a bad decision? Or did he really invest in John Mark? Did he up and die there? We’re not sure—literally, God only knows, but whatever happened, we do see some changes in Mark’s life! Because of these changes in John Mark’s life, you have to wonder if Barnabas’ desire for the restoration of a young man (who acted at one time perhaps uncommitted or even cowardly)—this desire for restoration had brought about some significant changes in Mark’s life.

Several years later, a mature, trustworthy Mark appears on the scene and plays a supportive part in both Peter’s life and again in Paul’s life. (See 1 Peter 5:13, Colossians 4:10, Philemon 1:24.) In fact, during his last days on earth, Paul mentions Mark in his second letter to the young minister named Timothy. When Paul had gone into prison for the last time in Rome, his other helpers were not prepared to follow and he found himself rather alone. (As a clarifying note, because of Paul’s tenaciousness—his "D"ness, he saw his own imprisonment as doing ministry just in a different location.) Paul writes….

Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.
2 Timothy 4:11 (NIV)

What had to happen for a strong "D" like Paul to allow a fellow worker a second chance? I think any of these possibilities could have taken place:

1. Barnabas helped this young man gain courage and helped him follow through with doing what was right. He may have seen his own "S"ness in his cousin Mark and knew what he needed to work on.
2. Perhaps Paul softened up in the latter years and learned to appreciate fellow Christians who were different from him.
3. Or maybe Mark learned to really trust God with his life and used his gifts in an appropriate way.

I have a feeling all three things took place. What would have happened if Barnabas hadn’t made the investment in John Mark? Probably no happy ending—Mark, as another potential "S," may have seen only the failure of his own character and lived out a life of defeat. But history records the contrary! Because of the courageous effort of a nice guy, Barnabas, what I have called a person with healthy "S" qualities, the church of Jesus Christ was blessed forever! After John Mark works with Barnabas, he then works with Peter, who must have told him so much about his life with Jesus, that John Mark chose to write it down in what we call today the Gospel of Mark. No supportive and encouraging Barnabas—no written Gospel of Mark.

So, without reducing people to a set of letters or some narrow, confining definition, how do you work with a co-worker, for example, who is an "S"? How do you parent a child who has these characteristics? How should a child relate to a parent who has the "S" personality? And what do you do with a spouse who displays these tendencies?

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Don’t take advantage of their good nature. Don’t use them.
2. Introduce change ahead of time. Give a warning. (kids when leaving)
3. Encourage them to avoid compromising integrity for popularity. (tough on kids in school)
4. Thank them for being dependable, on time, prepared, consistent.
5. (Add this one to the bottom): Appreciate the differences! Viv’ la difference!

As Roger had stated last week when he discussed the "D" personality, no personality type is better or worse / right or wrong! No matter what your personality type, God’s goal is to maximize your personality by producing the fruit of the Spirit in you….

love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

If God has blessed you with a personality that is Steady and Supportive, that’s great! You are not a second-class citizen!