Shrek-onalties—Life Of The Party
Roger Pryor—May 6, 2007

#3. "I" personalities are also free thinkers. They are natural born "outside the box" thinkers. A "D" will say, "I’ll build the box and make you get into it." An "S" will say, "Nice box—I could be comfortable in that." A "C" says, "Was the box built to the right specifications?" An "I" says, "What box? I don’t see a box. Don’t expect me to fit into a box. I don’t do structure."

It’s interesting how each personality type attacks a project or gets things done. Two weeks ago Jean and I were over in Des Moines visiting our daughter. On my daughter’s to-do list was hanging a dining room light fixture. As a "D", I took the old light down, unpacked the new light, and started installing it. Before it was done, I had drywall dust everywhere. From my perspective, "I didn’t care what the instruction manual said, this bracket and light WILL fit." An "S" would say, "I’ll read the manual now and put it together later." An "I" would just look at the instructions and the project and says, "Hmmm. I wonder what C-personality friend I can convince or "shoomz" to hang it for me so I can go out and have some fun?"

Finally, #4. I’s love change. They are not afraid of change or risk. Whereas C’s and S’s see change as a necessary evil, D’s and I’s see change as a necessary good. For D’s, it’s usually the path to accomplishing something, but for I’s, change creates another great adventure.

There are a lot of other good things about those who have been blessed by this personality type, but, as with each of the other types, the trouble comes when these get taken to an extreme. Because "I" personalities don’t live within boundaries, their behavior can be extreme. With distaste for structure, they often show little respect for authority—thinking they can get away with most anything.

To make up for their lack of interest in planning and organizing, they’ll "wing it" by turning on their natural charm and charisma. The lure of adventure sometimes leads them to impulsively drop what they’re working on to do something more interesting, which adds to their pile of unfinished projects. Their passion for popularity leads them to make promises they’re not sure they can keep. They may compromise their values to keep friendships or gain approval.

So what is an "I" personality to do? Give up on being fun-loving, free thinking, and inspirational? That’s not possible and it’s not necessary because you don’t have to be ruled by the extremes of your personality. If you’re a serious Christ-follower, the Holy Spirit who lives in you will change you. He is committed to producing fruit—the character qualities of Jesus in you that may be totally unnatural to you. The list of qualities is found in…

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

All of us need to grow in every one of these nine character qualities. But for those of you who are I’s, there are two that jump out as being desperately needed if you want to maximize your personality: they are self-control and patience.

Self-control speaks of the self-mastery of your desires and pleasure.

This term "self-control" as used in Galatians 5 describes the athlete’s discipline of his body or the mastery of one’s sexual desires. It’s about self-leadership. So often "I’s" get out of control because they sell out to people-pleasing and to excessive lifestyles. They need to reign themselves in.

There’s hope for I’s. God transformed an excessive "I" named Simon Peter into a person of self-control. Later in life Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:11, 13-14, 16 keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil.

A second virtue that God wants to produce in I’s may come as a surprise. It’s Patience. This particular word means longsuffering, forbearance or tolerance toward people.

A young father in a supermarket was pushing a shopping cart with his little son, who was strapped in the front. The little boy was fussing; crying and knocking cans off the shelves. The father seemed to be very calm and patient; as he continued down each aisle, he murmured gently: "Easy now, Donald. Keep calm, Donald. Steady, boy. It's all right, Donald. Patience, Donald."

A mother who was passing by was greatly impressed by this young father's patient attitude. She said, "You certainly know how to talk to an upset child—quietly and gently." And then bending down to the little boy, she said, "What seems to be the trouble, Donald?" "Oh no," said the father. "He's Henry. I'm Donald."

This word "patience" in Galatians 5 is often used of God to describe his attitude of choosing not to retaliate against us, but to show love, forgiveness, and leniency toward those who disappoint Him.

In the same way, God wants to produce patience in us. Why does an "I" need this kind of patience? It’s because, more than any other personality type, "I’s" get disappointed when people don’t measure up to their expectations. Impatiently, "I’s" want people to change NOW, but we all know—change is a slow process. That’s why I-personalities can go through 100’s of people—making friends, becoming disillusioned, then dumping them for someone else.

And even if they don’t dump them, they’ll become negative, judgmental and critical toward them. That’s why Christ following "I" personalities need a huge dose of patience toward others. Again, listen to the words of Peter. 1 Peter 3:8-9 (NLT) Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. Can you hear patience, longsuffering and forbearance, leniency and even self-control in those words?

So what are some action steps we can incorporate in our lives to open ourselves up to the influence of God’s Holy Spirit and experience self-control and patience? The first of these steps is #1. Solitude. I’m talking here about aloneness for the purpose of drawing life from God instead of from the "party". I-personalities typically get their energy, approval, and acceptance from others. Solitude with God breaks this cycle.

If it’s hourly, daily or weekly—whatever it takes—we need to carve out some time to listen to God instead of the crowd’s voice. Our Father in Heaven is our true source of life—not the adoring crowd. Even Jesus, who had a lot of charisma and "I" in him, needed the solitude. After an evening of performing miracles, we read: Mark 1:34-35 (NLT) So Jesus healed many people who were sick with various diseases, and he cast out many demons... Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Even Jesus needed a break from the crowds. Solitude breaks the cycle.

A second action step that opens us up to God’s character development is #2. Secrecy. It’s all about serving others without the possibility of people approval or admiration. I-personalities need to practice doing good things for others in secret. By doing so, they serve God and seek His praise rather than the praise of people. I’s often do good things to be noticed by others.

Jesus explained the secrecy factor in, Matt. 6:2-6 (NLT) When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth; they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

A third action step that opens us up to God’s character development is #3. Confession. We must be willing to name our faults by looking in the mirror and asking God to show us the ways we have disappointed him. In confession, there are no excuses. We’re not to sugarcoat them by calling them errors in judgment, mistakes or blaming them on others. We must own up to our sinfulness.

Not only is this action critical to our own spiritual health, well-being and relationship with God, it’s also key to developing the character quality of patience toward others by learning to identify with and be gracious toward the failings of others. Too often I’s see what’s wrong with others, but miss what’s wrong in their own life. I’s must learn to be sympathetic.

Jesus once said, Luke 6:41-42 (NLT)"And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Confession is getting rid of the log in our own eye.

The goal of this series has been to show how we all operate on different personality wavelengths. We need to better understand how we are alike, how we are different, and how to appreciate those differences in each other. Ultimately, we need to get to the place King David got to in Psalm 139:14 (NLT) Thank you [God] for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.